Haunted Love
by JWolf28
Summary: "It all started with my temper. Yes, it was my temper that ruined my friendship with Clint, it was my temper that left me without a partner, and it was my temper that ultimately caused my death." One shot from Natasha's POV. *Credit for the cover image goes to the artist. In other words, not me. I am not that kind of creative.*


**A\N: This is yet another one shot that I've had written for a while and just decided to post upon re-discovering it. Just a little side note,** **I haven't read the comics and I only know what I learn from other fics, so any information in here probably isn't very accurate. That being said, here you go. Let me know what you think!**

It all started with my temper. Yes, it was my temper that ruined my friendship with Clint, it was my temper that left me without a partner, and it was my temper that ultimately caused my death. Yes, I meant that literally. But this is a story better understood when explained from the beginning.

The entire deal began about three months before I died. The day had actually started out great. I'd woken up, gone for a three mile run before cooling off in the pool and then went to the communal level of the Tower for my morning cup of coffee. I was blessed in the fact that Tony had not yet had coffee and didn't greet me with some vulgar comment so Pepper didn't have to hurt her hand slapping him. Again. Steve and Bruce had been nicer than usual, Steve setting a plate of pancakes, eggs, and bacon in front of me while Bruce sparked up conversation and Thor set a cup of coffee in front of me. I had no clue what was going on or why everyone was being so pleasant, but I was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth so I just enjoyed it and moved on. It wasn't actually until Stark had a couple cups of coffee that it hit me. He'd been going on about people forgetting things, staring pointedly at me as he did so and it hit me then, but I knew he'd want to have his minute of extravagance so I feigned ignorance. "Natasha Romanoff, today is your birthday, how the hell do you not remember?! I know it's today, I read your file."

I didn't really know how to respond to that and the truth most certainly was not the answer, so I went with "I've just been busy lately. I guess I had too much on my mind."

Stark's eyes bulged. Yup, totally nailed that answer. "You forgot your own birthday?!"

I nodded, not even bothering to hide my laughter. Fun fact, I don't want anything from anyone on my birthday. In fact, I like just the opposite. I like to give to everyone else because the way I see it, I wasn't put on this earth to let other people treat me like a fucking princess. No, I was put here to be something and for the first thirteen years of my life, it looked to me like that something was going to be a killer. Then Clint had taken me in and I became something better. Normally, I just donate a shit-ton of money to some good organization and call it a day. In fact, I don't even know if the date in my SHIELD file is my real birthday. I'd just picked it when I was hired because I had no clue what my real birthday was. Anyway, I digress. In a way, my letting them see me happy and laughing was a small gift from me to them because heaven knows I'm not that kind of person. Breakfast went even better after that, though my favorite archer was missing, not that I noticed or anything. No, I wasn't looking for him (read: Where the hell is he?).

And then that happy bubble was popped. I'd been sitting with the guys and Pepper and we were all talking and laughing and then Clint had stumbled out of his room with some blonde clinging to his arm. To give a valid description, picture Barbie as a hooker and add more make-up. Once you get that, you get a clear picture of Barbra "Bobbi" Morse. Clint's girlfriend. Not that I knew that at the time though. Naturally, Tony had to draw attention to it. "So, you finally got laid, Legolas? About damn time. I'm getting tired of your pissiness."

Clint turned on the Russian Assassin Glare that I'd taught him. "Don't talk about Bobbi like that, Stark. She's my girlfriend." Yeah, I'm not even going to pretend that didn't hurt me. "We've been together almost a year now, I love her." And there goes my morning. "Actually, she's my fiancée, I asked her last night." And that shattered my heart completely. If you look carefully, you can still see the little pieces of my broken emotions on the floor of Stark Tower.

While the others had congratulated Clint and Bobbi, I'd simply stood, gotten another cup of coffee and pulled up one of Stark's weird but completely useful holograph computer things. In a couple seconds the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation received an anonymous donation of ten thousand dollars. Nodding my head with the charity done for this year, I managed to overhear what Bobbi was saying. "I mean, that red-headed chick is a total bitch. She didn't congratulate us or anything. Did you guys see that? She acts like she's all entitled but the truth is she's just a murderer, plain and simple. Clint told me everything. She should have at least said something. She's just thinks she can do whatever she wants with whole 'pity me' act. So her parents died and she got kidnapped. Big whoop. I was kidnapped when I was little, but my dad was super smart and he got me back only, like, three hours later. She needs to get past that. She can't be a bitch to everyone because she had childhood problems."

And that was when I lost my temper. I stomped away from the coffee pot, knocked Clint out first with a couple pressure point tricks and then I wrenched Bobbi's chair around and glared at her. "Let's get something straight, lady. I do not play the victim card. Alright? Second, my parents didn't just die, they were murdered and I had to watch them die. Third, I wasn't just kidnapped. No, when I was three, I was kidnapped and taken to a secret Russian government facility that tortured, raped, and brainwashed me to get me to kill whoever they wanted. I hated it, but I had no choice. They told us things, taught us what was what. Kill or be killed. Hurt or be hurt. Lock away your feelings and you will be untouchable. I wasn't some high school kid whose boyfriend left her just before prom. I was a young girl that forced to kill people at the price of my own self."

Clint woke up as I finished my spiel. He glared at me, about to say something when Bobbi interrupted him. "That's bullshit and you know it. You're just making that up for the pity me thing."

Yeah, that's what really got me. One punch broke her nose and blood spewed, Bobbi falling to the floor. Clint threw himself to her side. "Natasha, what the hell? You can't just go around punch people! She didn't do anything wrong."

I couldn't hold back the kick that I wanted to send his way so I just let it out, screaming profanity in as many languages as I knew. Eventually, Steve had to pull me away from Clint and I didn't miss that Bobbi was looking worse for the wear. Looks like a few of my kicks missed Clint. Yeah, I can't even muster the guilt for that. Clint looked like the angel of death. "If I ever see your face anywhere near me again, Romanoff, you're dead!"  
So I did what anyone in my position would do. I ran. I ran out of the room to my room where I prepared. I couldn't return, I knew that much. I needed to start completely over somewhere else. And when I mean completely, I mean completely. I took all my personal belongings up to the roof and lit them aflame. By now I figured that the team would be watching what I was doing so I decided that it would be a great chance to scare the hell out of the assholes that didn't defend me and I took a couple steps back before I ran forward, throwing myself off the very top of the Tower, enjoying the rush of adrenaline before pulling the cord on the parachute. I landed safely on the ground, detaching myself from the chute and running.

I turned up at the SHIELD base not long later and requested a mission. They asked what kind of mission and I told them that I wanted the hardest one they had. And that was how I got handed a suicide mission. Granted, it was my own fault, not that I regret my decision. I really don't. Anyway, the mission was fine and I completed it. Then I somehow got caught up in the middle of a gang war and I was shot six times and had lost more blood than I care to admit before I was taken to a hospital. It was just before that, though, that I knew I'd died. I just knew it. I mean, how would I be able to see what was going on around the tower as well as what was happening to my body if I wasn't? I concentrated mostly on the Tower, trying to think of something other than the blood I could see on my more corporeal self.

Pepper paced the floor anxiously. "What if she wasn't okay though? What if she hit the ground too hard and went off and got herself more hurt and that's why none of us have heard anything about her in so long?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "She's the Black Widow, Pep. She's indestructible."

There were a couple murmurs of agreement and Clint glowered, his hand intertwined with Bobbi's. "I don't get why we're here. Whatever type of friendship Natasha and I had was over the second she punched Bobbi."

The aforementioned person touched her bruised nose with a wince. "She broke my nose."

Pepper shook her head. "You knew her and were her partner for how many years?"

Clint's response was instantaneous. "I met her when she was fourteen, so ten years ago. We've been partners for seven of them. Or, we were partners. That's done now."

Pepper gave Clint a loathing look. "And what if Phil called us all right now and told us that she was dead?"

"I'd say it was her own fault for charging out of here like she did." Ouch. That hurt. Ten years and that's what I get. I felt a pull on my body and knew I should probably get back there, but I really wanted to hear this. Unfortunately, I was dragged back to myself and the pain and blood returned in full. I was conscious for about a half a second before I was out again. The second time that kind of thing happened was when I'd been in surgery and I'd died again. I was back in the Tower, it hadn't been long later, maybe and hour, and the team was watching a movie. The phone rang and Pepper got up to answer it. "Hello?"

I could hear Phil on the other line. "I need to speak to Agent Barton."

Pepper frowned. "Does it involve Natasha?"

"It does, I'm afraid."

"Well, they're not exactly on speaking terms right now."

"How bad?"

"He pretty much said he wouldn't care if she died."

"Well I guess he won't care about this news then. Alert the rest of the team instead. Natasha was severely injured on a mission. She's in surgery now, but the doctors don't think she'll make it." The phone slipped from Pepper's grasp as Phil hung up, falling to the floor before she took a shocked seat on the couch. Tony was next to Pepper in a millisecond. "What is it? Is it your mom? You mentioned she wasn't doing too well."

Pepper shook her head, trying to find the words. "No, no, it's Natasha."

Tony paled. "What about her?"

"She's been on a mission. She was hurt. They don't think she's going to make it."  
The room was silent before Clint spoke. "I told you guys. She probably did some stupid bravado thing."

I was shocked back into my body as everyone started yelling at Clint. The third time it happened, I didn't go far, just into my hospital room. I'd been in a coma for almost a week by that point and I found Clint sitting next to my bed, pretending not to care, but his eyes weren't on the book he'd brought. He watched me and I realized I wasn't dead. I wasn't quite dead yet. Clint sighed after a few seconds and gripped my hand. "Don't leave me, Tasha. I still need you. I love you." And the flatline sounded and I cursed a few different languages. Of course I would die after I heard the three words that I'd wanted to hear since we'd become partners.

Clint was shoved out of the way and doctors swarmed the room as they tried to revive me, but they were failing. I sat on Clint's lap where he sat in the corner as they did, leaning close to his ear and whispering the four words I'd always wanted him to be able to hear me say. From the way he stiffened, I'd go so far to assume that he had. After five minutes they called it. Time of death 10:26 AM, 08/15/2012. I sighed, pressing a kiss to Clint's stubbly cheek before standing up and wondering what the hell happened now. A funeral was arranged and the team paid their respects. Clint and Bobbi broke up when she started bickering about him going to my funeral. Clint gave the eulogy, talking about all the things that he liked about me and how terrible he felt about his last words to me. Little did he know, I'd heard the I love you.

I stuck around Earth for some odd reason, generally with my teammates or Pepper. I felt most grounded and real when I was with them. I spent most of my time near Clint. I suppose it's because I still love him. How about that. I'm dead and I still love him. I sit with the others sometimes, but there are always those hours when I'm alone and I take these hours to sit and let everything out. I scream, I cry, I wish I could make it all stop because goddamn it, this was worse than being alive and not having Clint. I found a few ways to entertain myself though. I jumped off the top of the Tower a few times and landed softly on the ground like something out of those terrible movies about those blood sucking fairies. Twiheart or something like that.

I'd been dead for almost a year and a half when things took a turning point. Clint managed to make friends with some magic man and the guy insisted he owed Clint a debt. "I can give you whatever you want, Agent Barton. Whatever your heart desires, I can give you."

Clint shook his head. "No. What I want is gone. Gone forever. What I want can't come back."

The man's face had softened and he'd given Clint a gentle smile. "Or so you think. But everything in this world deals with energy. With the right energy, I can return what you lost."

And then I saw my corpse on the floor. That was nasty. Clint refused to look. The man said an incantation and my body looked exactly like me before I'd died. Yes, the bullet holes were still there, but they closed up before my eyes and after another incantation, I felt a pull towards my body. I fought to stay where I was because I had no idea what was happening. The man pulled an irritated face and he looked at me. Me! "Don't be difficult now."

I let go of my hold on this reality and went crashing into my body for the first time in eighteen months. When I opened my eyes, I knew I was alive. I could see Clint and I knew he could see me because he was completely pale and he reached for me. "Tasha?"

I smiled at Clint. "Hey there, Partner." I looked to the magic man. "How did you do that? I was dead, yet now I'm not."

The man smiled. "Your energies were still here. It wasn't difficult to bring you back."

JARVIS sounded overhead. "Welcome back to the living, Agent Romanoff."

I smiled. "Thank you, JARVIS."

Clint pulled me off the floor, crushing me to him. "I missed you so much, Tasha. So much."

"I know, Clint. And I love you too." The magic man snuck out at this point.

Clint froze. "How do you know I said that? You were dead."

"I never went I away. I was there. I was always there."

Clint hugged me tighter and I chuckled. "So, how are we going to tell everyone else? And for god's sake, is Jess going to like me?"

Clint grinned. "You really stayed, didn't you?"

I nodded. "I couldn't leave you. That and I didn't know how."

Clint pressed a kiss to my temple. "We'll tell the team somehow. But before that, you need a shower. You smell like dust and mothballs."

I rolled my eyes. "It's not my fault. I've been dead."

Clint shook his head. "Don't joke about things like that."

An hour later, Clint gathered the team and told them about how the man, I learned his name was Sean, said he would give Clint the thing he wanted most. Tony scoffed. "And what did you ask for? A new bow?"

Pepper gave Tony a light punch, careful not to disturb the sleeping infant in her arms. Jessica Natasha Stark was a week and a half old and I was more than honored to have the child named after me. Pepper looked to Clint. "And what did Sean give you?"

Clint shuffled his feet awkwardly. "Well, it's easier to show you."

Taking my cue, I entered the room, just staring at everyone until they stopped gaping. I put on a cocky smile. "So, what did I miss?"

Thor was the first to react, running over and wrapping me in an embracing, lifting me off the ground. "Lady Natasha, I am most glad of your return from Valhalla where you surely resided."

I chuckled. "Not quite, Thor."

Thor set me down while Bruce stood, giving me a hug and ushering me into a chair. Steve gaped, trying to figure out what was going on. Thor took his seat again. "Where were you then?"

I gave a small smile. "I never left. I was here the entire time. I know everything that went on." I looked to Clint. "Including that three month mourning period you were in." Clint's face turned pink and I nodded. "That's right, buddy, I saw that. What did I tell you before? Don't mourn my death too much or I will come back and haunt you. The haunting part didn't turn out, but I did watch you and scream curses at you."

Pepper broke out of her trance with a small squeal, passing Jess to Tony to greet me with a large hug and many happy words. Tony was next, giving me a one armed hug, the couple introducing me to their daughter. Steve broke through his confusion last, but nearly suffocated me in his embrace. I couldn't really blame anyone for freaking out, though. I had, after all, just come back from the dead. I'm not going to lie, it took a bit of getting used to, being seen, being heard, being felt. Apparently trying to pat down Clint's unruly hair was a spectacle for the team and I learned quickly not to do it in their presence. It's a challenge, but I'm getting used to it and if I learned one thing, it was that I would never be so careless with my life again because I knew how quickly I could lose it.

Clint proposed to me almost a year after I came back and I said yes. Our daughter was born not long after that and our son two years after that. Cali and Ryan, the light of our lives.


End file.
